I arrived early and talked to my friend Bekah, otherwise known as RedBekah, otherwise known as the best ginger friend anyone could have. Anyway, she asked me the typical Generation Pulse Volunteer questions: 1. Can I pray with you? and 2. What are you expecting from tonight? I answered something like "...for God to reveal something about His character to me. Something that He is, outside of my circumstances. He's doing incredible things in my life, but I want to praise Him for what he is, not only what He does." The service began and the front of the room filled with people. First, we sang "His love is deep" and one of the lyrics was
"He calls us now, His sons and daughters"
At that moment, something shifted inside of me. I undoubtedly knew that line was my answer, but how could that be? The lyric was declaring what I am, a daughter, not something He was. But I kept it in my heart and continued through the service. During the response time, a girl came up to me and asked if she could pray with me. About a minute into the prayer, she begins speaking as God to me, "Brittney, I am your Father, and you are my daughter, let me guide you, you are my daughter and I love you." I almost fell over. Through teary eyes I sat trying to understand what this all meant. The night wrapped up and quickly transitioned into a trip for buffalo wings and fellowship.
So, now it's Saturday and we split into smaller groups to pray for the people of Xenia while walking around the downtown area. It was chilly so our time was shortened to two hours. Each group returned with mixed emotions of feeling encouraged, broken-hearted, and bearing stories of God's faithfulness. We shared our experiences over pizza and there ended up being a praise party, which is not unusual at AHOP! Next, we had a break and then reconvened at 7 that night. At this point, I thought I had had my "moment" and I was focused on praying for some of my friends to get theirs. The schedule was similar to Friday's: Worship, message, response/ more worship. It was a provoking word and I was surely enlightened by it.
Now, this is where it goes down...People voluntarily began praying over individuals, anointing them, and prophesying. It was amazing! Somehow, I found myself in the center of my closest friends and complete strangers, all with hands on me. (Thanks to Bri DuPree!) Another girl, whom I had maybe talked to twice in my life, held my hands and prayed a prayer so intricate and powerful that I couldn't help but weep. She and my friend Robby finished their prayers over me and everyone said 'Amen'. I reached out to hug this stranger who just blew my mind with her prayer and as we separated, she took my hands again and held eye contact with serious intensity. She said, "You know that song we sang? 'Who makes an orphan a son and daughter?' You are His daughter." and she walked away as I sat in simultaneous disbelief and awe, thinking someone must have told her about Friday night and then realizing that that wasn't possible. My friends and Alex were just as surprised as I was when I turned around and saw them. OUR GOD IS SO GRACIOUS! He pursues! He is clear and still speaks today. It was the most real God has ever been to me and I'm still struggling to find words to explain it.
I've had some time to process the events that took place at the conference, and I am in awe even more. I desired to understand more of who God is outside of me, and he showed me I am a daughter...He's telling me that He is my Father! He's so graciously explaining to me who I am so that I might understand more fully who He is! Not only did he lovingly and cleverly show Himself through my initial question, but He focused on my role, who I am. How selfless is our God?!
God spoke to me on my level because of His grace. This led me to realize that I truly don't know how to be a daughter. I've lived in a broken family my entire life, I'm the oldest, have seen my authority figures in less than ideal situations, and haven't lived with either of my parents since I was 15. I've always felt either distant or in authority over them. I have not been emotionally taken care of. Relationships have been fragile and fickle. But my Father in Heaven is overwhelming me with the news that He knows me and loves me yet. He gives me peace and stability in His Kingdom, unlike my previous homes. He takes pleasure in providing for my needs! He is Abba, my father! His love is furious, jealous, and everlasting!
At the conference, one of the girls mentioned a dream she had about a church needing $48,000, yet when a man offered them an exceeding amount of $700,000, they replied with a cry for only the $48,000 that they needed. They only expected what they needed. This weekend, I needed $48,000. And God gave me $700,000 the first night and $700,000 the second night. We must raise our level of expectation because our Father is willing and able. He gives us more! I am rejoicing. This weekend absolutely changed my life. I am eager to serve a mighty and victorious God!
*Galatians 4:1-7 was the passage that I opened my Bible up to the following Monday:
Sons and Heirs